Sunday, August 7, 2011

Engaged! and other stuff...

Its official, I am engaged! Well it has been official for a while, I just am a bit behind. I am excited, but am not really liking the planning. It just stresses me out when I think of all that needs to be done. We are getting married in Idaho, and will have a reception there. One week later we will have another reception in Utah. For now, it is just a civil marriage, but we are planning on getting sealed in the temple in about year! I cant wait! It is great to feel like life is going somewhere and that I am actually working towards something, and that I can me sealed to Amilton and my family now, and my future family for eternity. I can't wait to start my own little family!
We are planning on going to Brazil next summer :) My first time there, not to mention my first time out of the US (Except maybe Canada when I was little, not sure). I am already getting excited for that and the chance to meet all Amiltons family there. Now I just need to get a passport...

And everything else is good except for the other stuff...
Things have come up that have been causing a small amount of tension between me and Amilton, which sucks. I just want the things to go away and be over with. But some people are just not understanding that and won't let things from the past go. I cant wait to be able to call that all done and move on to a the future, a better life.
Also, I have this habit of over thing things and a lack of trust. Things have happened in the past that makes it hard for me to trust people, and now I am taking it out on Amilton. I am trying not to, it is not fair for him, but it is hard for me to fully trust anyone. I just hope I get over it, Amilton has done nothing to lose my trust so I am trying my best to give it all to him.
And then the over thinking. Oh boy, it gets me into a lot of trouble and a lot of sleepless nights. Here it is almost 5 AM, no sleep for me yet. I keep trying but then just lay awake with no sleep in sight. It is frustrating. My mind is just too busy with worries, and doubts, and fears, and sorrow.
Of course there is thoughts about the wedding and joy keeping me up to. But right now its mostly everything else. I just need to stop worrying and move on with life.

But on a good note, I love Amilton, and am so excited for the future. I have no doubts about if it is the right thing to do, I know it is! I just have a few things I need to work on to make my life and his life a lot easier and less complicated. Haha.

And thats all I have to say about that, good night for now. Sorry to bore all of you who actually read this.